On Becoming a Kept Woman

I received a letter last week saying my 3rd year of leave from work was denied. No reason, just denied. I have 2 choices: go back to work in September or resign.

I'm trying to appeal this decision, but I'm doubtful.

So, considering we are planning to move to Frankfurt this summer for 12-18 months, it's highly unlikely I can commute to school from Germany. It's looking like resigning is my only viable option.

I'm not completely sure how I feel about it. I never wanted to give up my job completely when I had kids. I like having my career and adding (at least a bit) to the family income. I define myself as a teacher. If I no longer have a job, will I still define myself this way? Plus, I'm only 2 years away from being vested enough to get retirement benefits way down the road. I'll have to give that up (although I could always go back to MI and work 20 years from now to get those 2 years) along with salary steps. If I get a new position (which is tough in this economy) I'll most likely lose some salary.

But, on the other hand, I don't want to leave Europe yet, especially just to go back to work. I haven't been thrilled with the politics of our school district in the last few years and the administration doesn't really value the teachers. I'm not sad to leave that behind. Plus, I am enjoying spending more time with our kids and am not so stressed out about getting things done around the house. Besides, career-wise for Jason, we need to move to Germany. Moving home now wouldn't help his career at all. Most of all, I WANT to go to Germany. I don't want to give up our European lives just yet.

So, unless my appeal goes through, I'll soon be a kept woman.

I have lots of friends who are Stay At Home Moms and they seem happy and fulfilled and not guilty for not adding to the family budget. I know that SAHMs add value to the family in many, many more ways, but I think it's going to be a weird "label" transition for me. I don't want to stay home forever, I know that, and am just a little worried about how hard it will be to get back in the job market.

I'm already looking into my options. I'm going to attend a conference this summer to get some experience with the IB program in international schools. They certainly seem like a better place to work as a teacher! I may be able to work as a sub or assistant or even as a teacher in Frankfurt with the certificate I'll get at this conference.

Plus, maybe this will push me to try to get paid for some of the writing I've been doing. I like writing for the parenting magazine, but it's unpaid. Maybe I'll get the courage up to submit writing to magazines that do pay.

Who knows? At least I have options, and am not desperate for income. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who works his tail off to take care of me and the kids at work, while I work my tail off to take care of him and the kids at home. I am definitely happier with my life now than I was when I was working part-time and arguing with administrators to stay half-time.

Maybe being a kept woman will be a good thing for me!